Five times Dinozzo lied, One time he did not
by Inamioly
Summary: What starts as a pointless fight ends up as a... promise of commitment? Read and review, I found it extremely fun to write. I hope you like it. TIVA FLUFF with amusing GIBBS - CH.2 Ziva's POV sort of
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, faithful readers! I know it took me longer to update than it took FOX to let us watch Private Practice's newest episode (And that's saying something!), but I've got a pretty good damn reason. Okay, maybe not… it's just that I hate to write just to write, you know? When I'm lacking that little inspiration bug, it really gets on my nerves and I can't write a thing!**

**But hey, now I'm back. And with a story starring Anthony Dinozzo and Ziva David, the cutest couple that has not made that many cute appearances on the big screen lately.**

**And… Another drama-filled story (No surprises here, I'm a complete Drama Queen, and I'm seriously considering rehab :P )**

**Read, Enjoy and **_**REVIEW**_

Five times Anthony Dinozzo lied, One time Anthony Dinozzo didn't

(_Ziva had recently become an NCIS agent)_

"Dinozzo, grab your gear."

"Where're we heading, Boss?" The newly promoted agent eagerly asked, toning down the least bit when it occurred to him he sounded just a little too cheerful. He stood up from his chair and proceeded to follow Gibbs into the elevator when he yelled in pain, startled. He rubbed the back of his head. "Probie, if I find you standing behind me when I turn around in five seconds, you'll be sorry. The clock is ticking. Run or I'll beat the cra-"

Gibbs chuckled.

Tony shivered involuntarily and knitted his eyebrows together in fearful regret till his eyes were narrow enough not to recognize their surroundings. Gibbs did _not_ chuckle. In fact, the only possible reason for such an improbably event to happen would be for him be thinking about watching his Best Agent being tortured to death by a Deathly Ninja. His feet hesitantly danced clockwise till he was facing the head-smacker.

"Who exactly are you going to beat the crap out of?"

He unwillingly opened his eyes, a comical expression gracing his features, only to find himself staring down at Ziva's.

"The… the Probie's…?"

"Now please, Tony, be my guest." Ziva uncrossed her arms, an amused smile flourishing on her lips. Her hands were dangerously close to touching his, and Tony's breathing became unsteady. "Why, is Anthony Dinozzo scared of beating up a girl?"

"I'm a gentleman. I don't… beat up girls." He sulked, looking up at the ceiling. "Which does not mean I won't make an exception out of you. After all, with those Ninja tactics of yours, you are hardly a girl to me." He finished with a satisfied smirk, until he saw the hurt glint that possessed her eyes for a small fraction of a second. _Damn, that has got to be the lie of the year…_

"Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow provocatively.

"Yes, really." He nodded, trying to sound uninterested. He checked his watch. "Get on with it, Zi-vah. Why'd you hit me for?"

"Just for the fun of it." Ziva stated, also appearing rather uncaring. He noticed she kept brushing a strand of her hair.

"Ziva."

Both agents were startled by the Gibbs' rough voice. He had been leaning against the wall during their entire conversation.

"Boss?" She queried.

"Give Dinozzo the keys. The tension between you two will either kill one of you or lead all three of us to insanity." He clicked the elevator's button and turned his back to them.

"Yes, Boss."

Tony accepted the car keys and felt like grinning at her defeated tone, but there had been something about Gibbs' statement he could not quite put his finger on that made him hold back his tongue. That is, until…

"There's no tension between us!" They both spurted out, outraged by the thought itself. _Lie number two. I must really getting the hang of it…_

Gibbs sighed, his hand resting against the cold metal panel. "Alright, the dead man can wait. I highly doubt he wants to come back from up there to strangle you both and go to Hell instead. Which, by the way," He went on, angrily glaring at his agents. Tony, who stood beside Ziva, flinched at his hard gaze, and was secretly glad to see she looked quite frightened as well. "is what is going to happen if I don't get you two to shut up."

"Sorry, Boss." He lowered his head, more in fear than in trounce – not that he would let it show.

"Don't apologize, _Tony_." Ziva whispered only loud enough so Gibbs would hear. "I heard it's a sign of weakness, you know?" She smirked, and he thought she looked quite proud of herself. He pouted childishly.

"I'd rather apologize and stay alive, thank you very much, Ninja."

"So you figure Gibbs won't murder you if you say you're oh, so, truly sorry?" She asked, skeptically. "The odds of that happening… dangerously close to zero, I'm afraid. He might actually kill you in a more painful way, Tony." She ended her rant in a brighter tone.

"Really, that dreamy accent to your voice was entirely necessary, I imagine." His own voice dripped with sarcasm, he crossed his arms and gave a ninety degrees spin, so he would be verbally fighting with her face to face, rather than ear to mouth.

Her hand made its way to her mouth and her eyes widened in mock shock. "_I'm sorry_, was I that obvious? I didn't hurt your frail feelings, did I?"

His reaction was to deny it and brush it off with a poor joke. The words got caught up in his mouth, and the only one that managed to get out was, "No." He mumbled under his breath and his teeth gritted themselves even though he kept trying to unlock them in order to say something… not that funny, but that would undoubtedly distract everyone. _I hope this lying thing isn't forever… lie number three, and it's only been five minutes…_

Gibbs cleared his throat, and both agents jumped slightly. Their eyes got lost, and both attempted to pretend they had not seen the hurt in each other's eyes. "Good. Now that Dinozzo has shut up for good and given you no possible way to reply, _David_, we will be going." He commanded, turning his back to the elevator, once again, and pressed Down.

Tony repositioned himself so Gibbs would be in front of him, and a little sound at his right told him Ziva had done the same thing.

"What is taking the elevator so long?" They heard the elder man grumble.

"Who is the designated driver, Boss?" Ziva asked in a sudden.

Tony let out an infuriated objection as she appeared incredibly confident. He was fairly certain _she_ was fairly certain Gibbs wanted her to drive. "Me, of course." He stated, again staring at her, an incredulous look on his face. "I just did not think it to be necessary to state the obvious." He spoke as if a three year old child stood in front of him.

"Well, then I'm glad you did, because your assumptions are _clearly _wrong. Right…? Gibbs?" She looked at him for support.

Gibbs inhaled heavily three times, before turning around, missing, consequently, the ride on the elevator whose doors had just opened. Tony and Ziva took a step back, fearing an outburst on his behalf.

"_I_ am driving." He hammered the words with unnecessary violence, emphasizing the _I._ "And you are going to sit quietly on your side. Ziva in my sidekick's seat, Tony in the back, and we are going to enjoy a peaceful ride. Honestly… Where's McGee anyway? He'd be a better help than you two! I swear you two go mad when he's not here to cool things off."

"He's down in the lab with Abby." Ziva promptly answered the rhetorical question, earning a second glare.

"Hey, why is Ziva your sidekick? She's the probie here!" Tony whined, offended. "Okay, okay, I was just asking…" He raised his hands in signs of defeat. "But still…"

"She's not my sidekick. She'll just be sitting next to me." Gibbs replied tiredly. "You're all probies to me."

"You don't mean that, do you, Boss?" Tony faintly inquired. "I mean, I'm way better than Probalicious and Ninja here."

"Keep telling yourself that, Tony, if it makes you sleep at night." Ziva laughed, shaking her head mockingly.

"Do you know what really makes me sleep at night?" He stared down at her, angrily.

"No, but do tell me, Tony. I'd love to know." Irony. How he regretted having taught her the meaning of _irony_.

"Knowing you're not there with me." He heatedly yelped. _Lie number four… I may be close to breaking a record._

"It's good to know." She shot back, her eyes now red with the furious fire that mirrored her state of mind. "Because that…" She spit the words with disgust. "Me, in your bed… that will never, ever happen."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." _Ding, ding, ding, Anthony Dinozzo has just broken the Guiness record of lies per minute._

"GREAT." Gibbs' exasperated voice overpowered their angry yells, and both agents silently returned to the previous positions, eyeing him. "Now we know neither of you will break rule 12 anytime soon. Not that I needed to know, but it pleases me. Now let's go." The elevator's doors opened, and the senior agent motioned for them to go in. The doors closed. He pressed the Stop button.

Both Tony and Ziva eyed him questioningly.

"I need to know I will lose neither of you out there. You can't go to a crime scene mad at each other, and not have each other's backs. I won't lose my two agents on a _quarrel_."

He got no response from them. They were now eyeing him like he had grown three heads.

"What, Dinozzo?" He groaned.

"Boss, I almost got myself killed to rescue Ziva from those dickheaded bastards… I don't know about her, but I always have her back." He smiled at her. "Corny, I know. I must've picked it out from some movie." He grinned cheekily.

"I know you do, Tony. I'm just surprised you," She looked at Gibbs with a disbelieving smile. "thought we'd let a stupid fight ruin everything. I owe Tony my life… though I wouldn't let it get over your head if I were you, Dinozzo." She chuckled playfully. "I'll _always_ have his back."

Gibbs was silenced for good. "You are annoying. Really. You are probably the most annoying probies I've ever had the displeasure to deal with. I will accept nothing short of best man in your wedding, Tony."

Ziva turned crimson, and Tony laughed at the sight. "We're on." _Ah, there's a promise I'll be glad to keep. _He smiled inwardly. _Wow, that's probably the biggest non-lie I've said all day. Heck, all my life._

**A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Puked on it? Want to favorite it? Want to… I don't know… **_**REVIEW? :D**_

**Febya**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter, really!! Every single review made my day :D Secondly, this story was supposed to be a one-shot, but I decided – after requests, which, BTW, I deeply appreciated! – to turn it into a two-shot (I'll try to write Ziva, but I can't promise anything… She's much harder to write than my friend Tony :P)**

**So, read and give me feedback, with suggestions, opinions, …**

**Febya**

Three times David hit him, One time she didn't

"So…" Tony's attempt at breaking the silence startled everyone. The snow kept crashing onto the car's front window, and Gibbs, whose eyes were fixed on the road, grumbled. McGee stiffened in his seat, afraid to move an inch. Ever since they had left the bullpen, the team had been acting strange. Ziva could not quite pinpoint the reason why, but the small, crowded car suddenly seemed a lot harder to breathe in. "So…" Tony tried once more. She fought the urge to tell him to be quiet. She saw the driver clench his fists on the wheel. _Oh boy…_

"So what, Dinozzo?" Gibbs snapped, his teeth gritted.

"So…" He appeared a bit taken aback by the outburst, but quickly recovered from the shock. "So how come McGoo's your sidekick now? What did Zi-vah do wrong?" He inquired, his voice stained with a rather annoying cheerful ingenuousness. "Worse, what did _he_ do right?" His eyes widened in mock astonishment to a length Ziva would describe as pathetic, giving his features an oddly wrinkled air.

She heard Gibbs inhale and exhale before answering.

"Because," Ziva surreptitiously crawled closer to the window across Tony's, and leant back in her seat, placing her head the farthest away possible from Gibbs' imminent yells. "Because, Dinozzo, I want nothing more than to have a moment of peace and quiet while driving _my_ car without you, NCIS' personal bouncing bunny, _bouncing_ to get Ziva's attention." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "McGee is much easier to ride with."

Ziva took a glance at Tony, who was wearing an offended expression on his now wrinkle-free face, and imagined him with long, fluffy, white ears and big front teeth. It was too much for her to handle. A big shriek left her mouth, and she released the laughter she had been holding up. Her eyes watered, and she had to cover her mouth, though failing to conceal the insistent peals.

"What, pray I ask, is so funny, Ziva?" Tony asked in a wounded voice.

Ziva looked at the mirror only to find Gibbs trying to disguise an amused smile.

"Oh, nothing, I was just thinking." She twirled a strand of her hair, and her eyes flew up to the car's ceiling, a hint of a smile in them.

"Oh, I see…" He grinned. "You liked the idea, right? Of me trying to catch your eye?" He masked his wounded pride with smugness. "You want…"

"If you end that sentence with _a piece of me_ I think might have blackmail material for the rest of my long, long life, Tony." McGee interjected, speaking at last.

Tony smacked the top of his head after unsuccessfully trying to hit its back. "Stop being witty, Probie. It doesn't suit you. Besides," He got comfortable in his seat and sighed contentedly. "It's a very catchy phrase. Right Ziva?"

"Hum- Th- Yes, yes. Absolutely. Not corny…" She repressed a smirk, though she was sure he had got the idea. "At all."

Gibbs laughed, and McGee chuckled. Tony hit him once more. "You don't get to laugh. You probably say even cornier things to girls when you meet them. Not that it must be a very regular occurrence." He smirked, while the other agent just rolled his eyes.

Ziva raised an eyebrow and stretched her arm until it was a hand away from Tony's head. "And you, Tony," He redirected his glaring eyes to face hers. "don't get to hit him." Her hand loudly crashed onto his head. _Ah, did it feel good…_

"What the- Boss, did you see that? She hit me for the _second_ **(A/N: I'm afraid I'll have to say the head smack in the first chapter was the first one) **time today. _And_ with a non-valid cause."

"It was valid, Tony. You were corny to Ziva. Can you think of a better reason to earn a head smack?" McGee's voice had a patronizing tone to it.

"And back there, in the bullpen? Why'd you hit me, Ninja? You never really explained."

"God, Dinozzo, she hits you because she likes it. You complain because you like it as well and want to get her mad so she hits you again."

Ziva and Tony were about to protest, but something kept them from phrasing their thoughts. Both mouths gaped a few times, quite alike fishes, but no sound came out.

"See, McGee? That's how you shut them up."

"Ah, cherished silence." The young agent smiled and leant back.

The car remained in a deeply settled silence for a couple of minutes. McGee had been playing with his fingers, while nervously glancing at the watch from times to times. Gibbs had never taken his eyes off the road, and kept shooting curses at whoever controlled the weather.

"Hey, wait a second."

Ziva yelled in frustration. "What now, Tony?"

"_Why were you laughing?_" He whined impatiently. "With all this McGoo's wittiness, I forgot about it. _Why were you laughing_, Zi-Vah?"

McGee smirked. "Talk about obsessive…"

"I told you, it was nothing. Stop being a baby and be quiet." Ziva rolled her eyes.

"If it was nothing, then why did you shriek? You never shriek." He narrowed his eyes, obviously not buying her explanation.

"Gibbs what is taking us so long? We should have been there by now." She complained, trying to ignore him.

"I don't know, the snow, maybe?" Tony answered for him, sardonically. "but don't change the subject, Ninja. What was so funny that-"

"God, Tony. She pictured you as a bunny."

Simple, quick, succinct. That was Gibbs. Ziva was not sure how he knew it, but he always knew everything. She blushed, but had no idea why, and tried, therefore, to hide it.

"Did you, Ziva?" He asked bluntly, in an attempt of cheekiness, but she detected a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I did." She decided to play his game. "You were very cute, with a white, puffy tale and long ears. Oh, and your teeth…" She sighed dreamily.

"So you _do want a piece of me_!"

Bang. Her hand collided once more with his head, and Tony yelled in protest. McGee was grinning like a madman saying something along the lines of 'I own him now!', and Gibbs was unable to suppress a smirk. "I DO NOT want a piece of you. Get over it." _Third time's the charm, I hope…_

Still gently brushing the back of his head, he turned to her, smug. "Then why did you hit me? If Gibbs is right, then-"_ He just WON'T shut it…_

"Gibbs is not right." She firmly stated.

The elder agent cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowed.

She quickly rephrased. "Gibbs is right about you, but not about me."

"Yeah, right. I like it when you hit me? Keep dreaming." He shoved off the thought with a shaky wave of his hand.

In the front seat, McGee was moaning impatiently. He coughed.

"Yes?"

"They didn't realize you were just kidding when you told them they liked-"

Gibbs cut him off and answered shortly. "No."

McGee nodded his head in understanding. "I see. How long will it take them to stop bickering?"

"About half an hour."

The youngest agent groaned. "That much?" Gibbs glared at the road, but McGee got the hint. "Right, shutting up."

Back to Ziva and Tony, their heated argument had reached its climax.

"Tony, I've never been this serious. If you don't stop talking, I'll use the clip I have in my pocket." Ziva menaced.

"Why, is Ninja girl starting to get edgy?" A teasing glint embellished his eyes.

"I don't… get edgy." She stammered. She exhaled heavily, and Tony merely stared mockingly at her. "It's just that I'm locked down in this tiny car with you, we're surrounded by snow, it's cold and you just _won't shut up_."

"Oh." She saw Tony's attitude change drastically. His mouth was round with well concealed concern, and she knew it due to the odd sparkle in his eyes. With a great effort, as it was hard to move a muscle inside that car without elbowing anyone in the meantime, he took off his jacket. She was tempted to refuse the imminent offer, but something in her mind told her to accept the warm piece of clothing he handed to her. She could not help but gaze at him inquiringly. "It looks like we're going to be here for a while." He told her, as if it justified his actions.

She smiled and crawled a few inches to his side. She put on the jacket and subtly let her body lean on his.

"Thank you. I guess you really have my back, yes?" She smiled inwardly.

"Did you doubt it?"

"No, in truth, I always knew." She answered, confident.

The strange sensation she had felt in the beginning had return. She was finding it very hard to breathe. Tony tried to lighten up the pressure they were both feeling. "See? I was right. All you wanted was a pie-"

Ziva stretched her neck and pecked him on the cheek to prevent him from talking. Tony blushed and sat back, an arm resting on her shoulders.

McGee and Gibbs, quietly watching the scene, smiled.

"You know, McGee, with all the crap you have to endure, you really ought to ask Dinozzo for an important role in their wedding." The elder agent told him. "But just know that I'll be the best man."

**A/N: LOOL, it's finally over. I really don't know if I was able to meet your expectations. Give me feedback, people, pleeeease.**

**Febya**


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